lately..?

lately ni aku lain mcm..
i mean sjak aku excident..
oya, btw, aku excident..
aku naik mtor..de kete emergency break..
then msa nk break, tyar blakg pcah..
jtuh r..
kdaan aku..?truk sgt2..
sbb luka teruk kt blah kanan..
bt, thnks sgt2 kt someone yg pntg sgt dlm idup aku..
klu tk psl dia..mybe aku kna agi truk agi..
nway..since aku excident..
aku sdar aku da jd lain..
aku nmpk kdaan lain sgt..
suddenly aku jd over sensitif..
i mean..
aku nmpk kdaan lain drpd dlu..
mybe aku ingtkn lpas excident akn bruba..
bt tk..
it stays the same..
or probably get worst..
i need attention..
bukan prhatian drpd smua org..
tp drpd org2 yg ttntu jek..
mnusia2 yg pntg dlm idup aku..
bt smehow, susah sgt nk dpt..
aku slalu stuck kt tgh2..
n aku slalu kna fhm org..
but in the end..
no one understands me..
tkde org nmpk kbaikan aku..
hnya nmpk kburukan aku..
aku ske diamkn dri..
sbb adat mnusia..yg syik nk mnang jek..
aku sgt2 bosan..
bialah aku smpan dlm2 jek prasaan aku ni..
lg better..
at least aku tk skit ati..
after all..
im good with hiding my own feelings..
at least tk gdo ari2..
aku arp sgt dia tu ha at least ondg la aku ckit..
care ckit psl aku..
ni tak..
mkin tk pduli..
its okay la..
i think, nw im stronger..
i dont need anyone to cmfort me..

sakit ati kerana cinta..?

dalam hidup aku..
de sorg manusia yang ske sgt skitkan hati aku..
dia ske wt aku mra, bengang dan sebgainya..
dia akn pjuk tuk seketika, tp tk smpai 5mnit akn skitkan ati aku blik..
dia akn wt bhari2, stiap msa..
wlupun lma tk jmpa..
ble jmpa jek, dia akn skitkan hati aku..
seolah2 kalau tk skitkan hati aku, dia akn jd gler..
aku bengang, mrah, bnci sgt ngn sikap dia..
sehinggakan aku nak sgt jauh drpd dia..
aku bwak dri, mra2 kt dia..
mybe slowly dia pn da bnci kt aku..
tp..
ble aku jauh drpd dia..
bnci yg aku pling rndu adlh smua pkara skit ati yg dia wt kt aku..
smhow, aku rndu rsa skit ati..
aku rndu mra2 kt dia..
aku rndu tgk muka dia..
mybe,
tu cra dia tnjukkan aku pntg wt dia..
tp kalau hari2 skit bai..
bt, i really miss him..
sakitkn hati aku..
klu leh nk hari2..

susah tul org tk memahami ni..!

sometimes kita harapkn things will be different..
different people..different situation..different time..
smua bnda different..
and sometimes we wish for a different love..
cinta..
hadir dari hati yg suci..
niat aku hanya untuk menjaga seseorang, menggembirakan dia..
tapi, sering kali niatku itu terbantut..
bak kata orang tkde jodoh..
but then again..
aku always tanya pada diri aku..
apa yang sebenarnya aku nak..
do i really want someone that loves me so much, that without me, he would die.?
or
i want someone that loves me so much, that for my happiness he willing to let me go..
or i just want someone who understand me,
willing to share everything with me,
in the same time, willing to hear what i say,
would not treat me like a trophy,
instead, treat me as a human being, that has feeling and needs..
feeling,
to not be broken..
feelings,
to feel love..
feeling,
to be understand of..
needs,
to be care for..
needs,
to be fill for..
sometimes its hard for me to feel understand towards others,
maybe because aku tau, tkde sespe pn yang memahami aku..
YA ALLAH,
puas sudah aku menangis..
aku mnta petunjuk-MU..
agar kebahgiaan mula menjelma..

ur smile is the greatest thing bout u..

a long time ago..
nt too long actually, aku jmpa sorg bdak ni, and dia tk ske snyum..
dia ckp dia nmpk pelik..
but whn i saw him smiling, is was so sweet and adorable..
at least dia nmpk approachable..
as time goes by, dia mkin kerap smiling, which is the good thing..
he has this killer smile yg leh wt mane2 pmpuan tpaut hati..
hahahha..
no kidding actually..
bt as time goes by..
his smile keeps on fading..
dia da jrang snyum cm dlu..
if dia snyum pn, nmpk totally fake to me..
mgkin sbb aku knal spe dia sbnanya..
or mybe, dia just tkle blakon dgn aku..
he used to b the one yg cheer kn aku time aku ngh sad..
he was the greatest friend i had..
but nw..
ble dia lak de probs, aku tktau nk wt cmne tuk tlg dia..
smhow, everyday it just gettg worst..
he's my best-est friend, and mybe the one and only yg ever trima aku sdanya..
i miss u bro..
miss the old u..
the ones that make my day, just by smiling..
hope one day,
sblum aku pergi, aku dpt tgk kau snyum lagi..